Schmidt List

A more serious topic to discuss.


I hereby introduce to you, the first ever Schmidt Honorary Imbibers Team! To be a member of this team you must drink Schmidts. This must be done on a regular basis, weekly if not daily.

Once you have set up your own chapter, make sure and drop OFM a line so we can get you on the map. (there is no map yet...but there will be soon)

Regular Team meetings should be scheduled at the local bar of choice, preferably one that has Schmidts on tap (this is a rare thing! it should be treated with great care and importance!) Meeting times can be whenever you choose, Mon-Sun.

Once meetings have been scheduled a Team Captain should be named. This person should be either the most faithful or the one who can drink the most Schmidts in one sitting.

Schmidt List updates will continue to be posted here. Until then, There is no team like S.H.I.T.

Blogpsot?

I have found a strange discovery. If you mis-type my address; ofm.blogSPot.com as; ofm.blogPSot.com you get a religious site. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But, when you go to the site, I cannot find the correlation with the titles. OFM has nothing to do with their name. I belive this is religious sabotaging. Maybe it is because I have a link to The Net Atheists.

This pisses me off. I am not against religion per say, I just don't believe. Simple as that. Acts like this tend to tork me a bit, although it is clever to attract/trick those who mis-type into seeing their propaganda.

I decided to comment on their guestbook. I asked 3 questions, "how does their web address relate to their organization, what does ofm stand for, and Blogpsot is a funny word, what does it mean?"

I wonder if I will get a response. I didn't leave my email address for fear of more propaganda, but I did leave my web address. We'll see if they show up.

Idiots guide to blogging....

As I was driving home from work the other day, I saw a dude reading a book while driving. It was definatly one of those Idiots Guides.





Do you think it was the Idiots guide to Driving?

Currently running #23

I have moved up from #80 to #23 on the search engines for "schmidts beer". Word must be getting out that I love Schmidts. I just had one tonight as a matter of fact. A Schmidt Heavy, courtesy of my good buddy Brad over at Turf's Eye View.

I think I will start the Schmidt List. A list of Schmidt drinkers, a fan club.

If you would like to be on my Schmidt List please respond below. I will post the club rules/guidlines and motto tomorrow sometime.

Until then, "Drink more Schmidts".

Well....I surrvived B-Day.....

I thought I would pass along some advice from my father...After 30, "Shit just happens more often..."

My sister told me, "30 isn't old unless you say it out loud..."

My students told me, "30?! That's old!" Although they thought I was 26-27. One student said 24 and another said 32.

As depressing as it was, I think I will make it. Besides, I have lots of friends older than me...Goose, Turf, Hawspipe...

Ba-earth-day

As Goose has already noted, tomorrow (4/22) is my birthday. I didn't want to post tomorrow so I thought I would get it in tonight.

Not only is it my birthday tomorrow, it is also Earth Day. So, instead of sending all kinds of expensive gifts (yeah right!), do me a favor and pick up a piece of trash, toss your butt's in the ashtray, or recycle something.

What an awful feeling.....30....this could be a mid-life crisis. I never imagined 30. Not that I didn't think I wouldn't get here, it's just not an age you dream about. So, if any of you have post-30 stories to enlighten my day, give a response.

All things considered....

Apparently things got a little out of hand at VEISHEA this past weekend. For those of you who don't know, VEISHEA is a celebration at Iowa State. Each letter stands for one of the original departments. But to most of the students it is a huge-ass drunk fest. When I was at school there we could go from house to house drinking the night away.

We had our fair share of probelms too. One year cars were overturned and the cops came in riot gear and pepper sprayed the crowd. This year must have been a doozie. One dude got sprayed so bad his eyes swelled shut. Somebody got it on tape and sent it to the news. I guess they tore down light posts, started things on fire and some other shit.

When will the kids learn, just stay at the party and enjoy yourself. Keep away from the large mobs, and stick to beer only.

I hope all of the ISU students have recovered. Don't forget to take your cans back before they start to stink up the porch!



*Make sure to check out my new blog of the week, Smokingtoaster. It's a great site, and it has shuffled many viewers my way....Thanks!

Pretty in Pink...

I am wearing a pink shirt today. I am the girls golf coach. I told one of the seniors to take care of the shirts....so they ordered pink shirts with green printing. I told them that it was OK because I was confident enough in my masculinity to wear pink. In the 80's I had a pink polo, with the little alligator. How cool was that. I wore it with my 'rolled' jeans and loafers with no socks. Man I was cool.

I wish I could make this whole post in pink. Does anyone know how to do that?

Na na na na na na na......

Na na na na....

That is supposed to be from the famed "chicken song" often heard at weddings around the nation. YOu know, the one with clapping and the flapping of one's arm's?! My sister cued me to this link. It is creepy but very entertaining.

Go to the link and type in what you want the chicken to do. I tried to stump it, but couldn't, it is one smart chicken. I think he may also play tic-tac-toe at the fair (does he look familure Goose?).

Subservient Chicken

I tried stand on head, hop on one foot, etc. I even tried "preen" and it did it! He even shoots the moon! But my personal favorite is the karate kick! Cluck-awe!

Fart tag and other fun games with Flatulance....

Some kids today asked me if it were possible to light farts. I have not personally seen flames shoot out of anyone's ass, but my father claims he has, and I still believe everything he says to me. So I told them yes.

But it got me thinking about some things that we used to do in college. I am not sure I want to reveal them into the "blog-o-sphere", but I will even though it... If I may steal a quote from Bones over at BONES INC, "would be very embarrassing if I had pride."

First you must understand the set-up. For my first 2 years of college I lived in a dorm. This isn't as bad as it may sound, it was a lot of fun. But living with 50 guys can create some intersting activities. It was here that the fart flick was created and later developed. The fart flick is a method of trapping one's fart in the hand and then delivering it to a unsuspecting victim. Believe me, it can be done. I once "carried" a fart the entire length of a room before delivering the deadly flick into the face. From this concept, many variations were born, ( I will refrain from explaining them, you should be able to figure them out): fart dart, fart shovel, fart grenade-dangerous even to oneself , fart arrow, fart-in-a-box, farty dust, fart ball, etc. etc.

When we finally moved out (into a house with 6 other people), a new more exciting fart game was created...fart tag. Fart tag is based on the same premise as regular tag, except instead of touching the person with your hand, you touch them with your butt and let a fart. The fart must be felt by the "victim". Honesty is key here. You never really knew who was "it"...until you were tagged. In many games of tag, in certain cases there are "no-touch-backs", fart tag is no different. If you are skilled enough to score a face-tag, they cannot tag you back. The beauty of this game is that you may be "it" for several days because you couldn't muster a fart when needed and didn't want to try and force one for fear of shitting one's pants. The suspense when you are not "it", is intense.

Well, I am sure this is WAY more information than you had ever wanted about fart games. Maybe you could start your own fart tag league in your hometown?

The antifreeze on the bus goes round and round.....

I had an interesting experience last evening. While on a bus to a golf meet, our bus started to leak antifreeze from the rear heater.....IN the bus. I attempted to secure a handle on the problem (I don't know much about buses mind you). We discovered that the heater was only being held in place by a single screw. 3 screws were missing, now granted I don't know a lot, but I do know that heaters in a bus filled with kids should be attached to the floor of the bus, not wiggling around. So I used my trusty, inch long phillips screwdriver to remove the last screw so we could get a better look at things. Needless to say, it was beyond my scope of training, and the cabin of the bus was flooded with antifreeze.

Luckily we stopped and got some help before the engine overheated and exploded. Come to find out, there is a valve in the engine compartment that you can flip to shut-off the flow of antifreeze to the heaters. Go Figure! Good info for me since I am part owner of a beautiful red school bus.

"Well, knowing is half the battle." - Go Joe!

So, if you are ever on a bus that fills with antifreeze, turn it off, and use the shut-off valve in the engine compartment.

Brand New Herpes

There are some kids wearing a T-shirt that has a local band's logo on it today in school. The bands name is Brand New Heroes, this is printed over a large pink butterfly. The outline on the butterfly makes the shirt look like it says Brand New Herpes. If you really want to get technical, the butterfly could represent a females ... er... butterfly. Then you have herpes on the "butterfly".

Personally I think that Brand New Herpes is a way better name than Brand New Heroes. But who am I to judge?

#80

I was number 80 out of 573 possible links for "schmidts beer" on the MSN search engine. The number didn't bother me too much. It was the thought of the pour soul who looked through the first 79 until they found mine that did.

I looked at my refferer's on bravenet, and it clued me in to this fact. I was on page 4. 4! Whoever stumbled upon my site had skimmed 79 other entries before settling on OFM.

Don't get me wrong, I am grateful to have them as a viewer, especially someone as dedicated as this one to the great taste of Schmidts. I wonder if they will return?

Hey you! The Schmidt's drinker! If you are reading this, you must have read something that you liked. Let us know who you are. I have nothing but friendship for anyone who loves Schmidts.

Or Deer Beer as it used to be called.