Friday, January 28, 2005

5$ sucky sucky.......

I was watching Iron Chef America the other night and Chef Batali was battling Chef Robert Trevino (no relation to Lee..at least I don't think). Anyways, on Iron Chef they use alot of this bean paste called Miso. Actually it's fermented beans I believe.

So, Chef Trevino was using miso and honey in a sauce he was making and the commentator said somthing to the effect of, "Is that a honey / miso sauce?"

Chef Trevino answered with a sly grin and twinkle in his eye, "No, it's Miso Honey sauce."


"Oh Miso Honey! oh Miso Honey! Chef love you long time".......I had no idea that Chef Trevino was a member of 2 Live Crew!

Although a rare or even obscure reference......I found it quite hillarious.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Is it cool to be a dork?

Has anyone else noticed how TV is leaning towards science based drama's? The hardcore being CSI (all 3 of them), Medical Examiner, and that missing persons show. Then there are a few on the fringe, Law & Order(all 3 of them), and even ER to a degree...oh and Navy NCIS.

Then there is Vegas (which uses technology a lot) and the new Numbers (I even consider math to be dorky). That's just the major networks!!

Are we, as viewers, getting smarter? Or is it cool to be a science dork? I can't believe it is either of them, so what is it? Any ideas? Tommy, help us out on this one. I figure you have to have a rational answer to all of the science hokus-pokus these days.

I figure that the majority of people who enjoy these shows, aren't looking up to the actors and saying, "Wow! That science guy is cool!!".

Personally I love it, but that's becasue I am a science dork, who teaches science for a living.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Eating crackers in a quiet room and other pains in the ass...

I started eating lunch late today. I am trying to eat some tricuits while my new class is reading. This sucks. I want to maou(I have no idea how to spell that) down, but have decided it is too library like, and have desisted in my crunching. I can afford to lose a few pounds anyways.

Snow...I really dislike it. I don't care if some people think it's pretty or fun to play in. Try shoveling...alot.

Taking a crap. Both literally and non-literally. What a waste of time (no pun intendend)!

Cars. Fixing them, gassing them up, washing them, buying them, etc. etc.

Work. I say we start working back into a barter system. What can you do for me? What can I do for you?

Stupid people. Really people, smarten-up or get out of my way. This one is the worst... We need to have an IQ test to secure a right to operate in the real world. All those who fail need to stay inside their own homes at all times. I suppose we can let them out once in a while, as long as the smart people are notified before hand.


What's giving you a pain in the arse?




Friday, January 21, 2005

Sign of the times?

Here's a shot of W at the Inagural Slipknot concert. George was so pleased with the turnout in Iowa that he gave the unofficial maggot salute, the number of the beast - 666.




Actually it's a respectful salute to the University of Texas marching band, "hook em' horns".



But we can dream can't we..........

Boogie Fever

Tomorrow night I get to do something I haven't in quite some time, I get to go to a high school dance. I have to chaperone. Chaperoning sucks. You have to keep the booze out, and you have to keep the teenies from having intercourse on the dance floor. I am one of the more liberal teachers so I may let more slide than most. I usually only stop the screwballs who are messing around, I let the lovers be unless it is grotesque. The booze is a easy one to stop at the door, we just can't stop them from doing it beforehand. I can't smell to good, so I can't catch many that way either. Besides, the booze smell may be coming from me....just kidding.

I used to DJ jr. high, high school and college dances. I started in 8th grade and continued until I was a jr. in college. I guess you could say I have dance experience....except I can't dance. I do know all of the line dances for the last 30 years though.

So as everyone is having fun Saturday night, think of me monitoring the teeny boppers.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Dang-nabit

I wish I could make this post blurry, because that is the way my mind feels lately. Too much on my brain. It has affected my work as well as my blog. Actually my blog posts have been shitty for quite some time now, I appologize.

Things will resume the usual crappyness soon, as opposed to the extra crappy version you now see.

Until then, carry on.

Ro66yb

Spoo

There was a girl on TV last night in Minnesota whose last name was Spoo. No shit! SPOO!


Here I thought my last name was bad, it's only a vegetable!

Borange.

After seeing that M&M comercial with that high pitched gal from Will and Grace I got to thinking....

Why isn't there a word that rhymes with orange? Maybe I should have a contest to create a word that rhymes with orange. So I am, please submit your entries to the comment section of this post. The winner will recieve fame and fortune (a free subscription to OFM)!


Good Luck!!

Monday, January 17, 2005

Superfadedness Management Rule #11

Develop your own can signiture. What is a can signiture you say? In college and other situations when you will be drinking with many others, usually canned beer, you need a way to identify your beer from the others. Do you open the can wide? or narrow? Do you turn the tab to the left? the right? backwards? How about a dent? where do you put the dent?

After you shift from casual to Superfadedness (SF) mode, you may become confused and want to drink anything that is open in the vacinity. This is bad, others may be upset if they find you drinking their booze. So, develop and implement your own signiture can. That way you can signal other "alpha males" that you are in the territory and you don't appreciate them spoiling the fruits of your labor, cheap booze.



Take off Hosers!

Friday, January 14, 2005

Do you think...

this guy would talk with a HS biology class?

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Lost at sea...........

I am beyond drowning in my work, I am now lost at sea. Unable to disern which direction to take to get me back to shore. It seems there are dangerous prospects at every angle. Each time I seem to swim I somehow get lost, maybe it is the new "waves" that keep crashing into me. Then of course there is the scenery out here at sea. Somehow, even though I am getting more and more lost, I find myself day dreaming or "playing in the water", neglecting my hardship and putting myself further out.

Sooooooooo, I continue to doggy-paddle. Maybe I should try the american crawl.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Superfadedness Management Rule #67

When walking home from the bar or party, either by choice or need, make sure you look up as well as down. Your first inclination will be to stare at the ground as you stumble along. While it will seem important at the time to make sure your feet are moving - left, right, left, right, ooops...Watch out for that crack in the sidewalk!, right, right, left, etc. It is equally important, if not more so at least time to time, to look up. You need to get your bearings so you know where you are at. Not knowing can lead to walking in the wrong direction, often times walking many blocks before you realize you are either lost or way off track. This only causes you to walk more.

If you fail to heed Rule #67, contemplate a second stop at the place you were drinking at (or another along the way home). You may wish to have a "pick-me-up" or in some cases up north, a "warm-me-up" before journeying home once again.

Good luck, and as always, get Faded.

Monte Experiment



Ok, I had this damn thing all typed out but lost it due to stupidity. Here is the abridged version...maybe the better one.

I saw this dude driving a newer monte last night and a thought came to mind, "Are new Monte's driven by the same people that used to drive them?"

I contemplated using the term white trash, but figured someone would take offense when none is meant. To me white trash is a way of thinking and a blue collar lifestyle (even if the person has a white collar job) as opposed to trash that is white

In the 70's and 80's those who drove the classic monte's were definately blue collar folk (majority speaking, at least here in small town Iowa).

So, here is the experiment:
If you see a newer Monte, look at the driver and apply the following catagories:
75-100% Blue collar - BC (if you are 75% there, then call it good I figure)
.01-74% Partially blue - PB
00% Not blue - NB - more like white collar than white trash

For example, the dude I saw last night was about 85% blue, so I give hime a BC.

BC - 1
PB - 0
NB - 0

Good luck and happy hunting.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Another winter....

Another post about the idiots who live here, but don't know how to drive in bad weather yet.

Frickin idiots! I realize that you want to be safe, but come on people. This happens every year!! Get used to it!

Maybe it is a problem of living in small town america, where most roads are 2 lane, as opposed to 4. This makes it harder to pass. There is a limit to safeness and crossing over into a slow moving hazard.


Feel free to vent your frustrations on the comment section. It releases some of the stress, at least until I/you have to get back on the road behind the SMH.