New looks...

No need to blink or rub your eyes. A new look. It will probably change some more, so beware.

_rid_y Fi_ _-_n

We're back for a second week in a row....by unpopular demand!


1. Toupee or no Toupee?

2. Silicone/Saline or Natural?

3. Ketchup or Mayonaise?


Once again...thank you for participating.

The blonde leading the blonde...

Is it blonde? Or blond?

Anyways.....

It is semester test time here at my school. I like to throw in some goofy things on each of my tests just to shake it up a little and to see who is paying attention. Plus, every test seems to be the same after you have taken a lot of them. This year for my 7th graders I told them to put their finger to their nose if they had a question, instead of raising their hand. I give that test tomorrow, so we will see how that goes. Most don't read the directions so they don't even catch it.

In my biology class I had a question about amphibians, and it asked what characteristic is NOT true for most amphibains. The one that was NOT true was " a girlfriend named Miss Piggy". So we were talking about it after the test, and one girl (blonde) goes, "Kermit!! Kermit the frog! Thats why you put that on there!? I just got it.....I didn't know why that was an answer."

Another girl saw me riding my bike one day, and had said "I saw Mr. Beane w/ with his bike last night." The same blonde from above asked me, " You ride your bike?" and I said, "No, I like to carry it on my back as I walk around town."

Damn it all to hail!

My car was determined to be totaled. Totaled! from a hail storm! Of course I am upside down on my car loan (probably like most of us), so after they removed my deductable and the salvage value, I got about 2/3's of what I still owe.


Anyone interested in a 99 Dodge Intrepid, runs great but looks like it was driven through a driving range on a golf couse during the busy season? Real cheap......$1500! Delivery may be available in some areas.

My cat needs a muzzle...

My cat ate my mouse again....unfortunately it wasn't the furry kind. So, I was unable to get my thoughts on screen this weekend. Using key's only sucks.

1> I went golfing with the staff from my school on Saturday. When we left the course my car got attacked from large hail. Most of it was about golfball size, but some was borderline baseballs...softball size was reported in the area. Now my car looks like a golf ball, how ironic.

2> This quote was heard on TV. I will let you guess what I was watching. "... a beautifully elegant bitch. Look at the way she moves around, she's quite the bitch."

3> ?

4> The Friday Fill-In was pretty successful, I think it will make a return this week! Thanks for participating!

Fr_ d_y F_ _l - I_

Please fill in the blanks:

If I were a beer I would be ________________.

If I were a car I would be _______________.

If I could be a movie star, an actor, or a sports star, I would be _______________.

Feel free to tell us why you chose these responces.




Thank you for participating in the brand new (probably never repeated) Friday Fill-in.

Quamster

I just stumbled onto a site from a good friend who I have lost touch with, Chad Quam. We have been friends since I can remember but some how the last few years we have just drifted apart some. So I sent him some mail in hopes of staying in touch a little better. You should all go to his site and check it out. He is a very talented artist and his site is his Gallery. Here is the link, go check it out, and let him know what you think of his work!

Quam Fine Art Gallery

or if you have trouble (I did, for some reason the links at the top didn't show) try this one...

Quam's MP3's

Quam's art is one some people may need to get used to, his mindset is far beyond many people. All of his stuff is high quality, soulful art. Chad uses lots and lots time and emotion with all of his pieces, including his music.

(I know some of you have some personal stories about Chad's work, feel free to share them with us) When I lived at Quam's place in Loveland, I stayed in a room with the piece entitled Id Force. It tormented me for many nights, as the eyes followed me and stared at me as I lay in bed. The creepy part was that the figure resembles a cross between Quam and Jesus, with this strange light eminating from his forehead.

I told him to stop by here. Leave him a welcome note if you want.

"Ladies" Golf

We had our district meet yesterday. The only nice thing was that I didn't have to be in school all day. At least half of my girls were hungover. I think one was still drunk when we loaded up the van. We got 8th, out of 8.

Now I wasn't a saint in High School, but I was respectful and responsible. What has happened to todays youth?! I realize that this was the day after graduation and that these were seniors. But, as a team member, you have the responsibility, and duty to your teamates to be ready to play golf for your district meet. Why go out all season if you are going to only give a half-ass or worse effort at the last meet?

There was a bright point of the day, at the very end. One of the score keepers told me that one of my girls, "didn't golf all that well today, but she was one of the nicest girls she had ever met." Or something to that effect. This was one of the girls who I am sure did not participate in the senior party on Sunday night. The scorekeeper is 100% right, AK is one of the nicest girls you will ever meet.

So, I am now back in action.


Back to the SOS.

Carb Y's

For some reason (I'm getting fat) my wife bought Carb Wise alfredo sauce for me the last grocery trip. Now mind you, it's really not bad at all, it's a little bit less creamy than the real stuff, but not enought to stress over.

While eating it tonight I had a strange thought. Why would I put a low carb version over my highly carb meal? Why not just carb it up? Will a few more hurt me. I am eating a plate full of pasta. Pasta is like 90% carbs, if not more. It's kind of like putting splenda on your bowl of fruit loops in the morning. Why not just use sugar?

Never - Ever - Force it

I was trying to think of somthing to write. I hate it. Nothing witty, nothing sly, just blankness. I definately don't want to try and force somthing out. That will just result in me shitting myself. And nothing stinks worse than shittyness. I don't think the "scrape" method would work in this case. (Giese, it does help the watch. I didn't actually use a blade to scrape it, I used a warm washcloth, some of the funk remained though)

So, this is all you are getting for a few days. I am leaving for a wedding tomorrow. My good buddy Little Lee (not to be confused with Big Lee) is getting married to his college sweethart, Tracey. I can't wait to see everyone, and drink myself into a stupor. I am sure my wife is dreading this in the back of her mind. She'll never admit it though.

Then on Sunday I get to drive back home to go to a high school graduation. My first set of students I have ever taught will be graduating. It is kinda sad.

I will repost on Sunday night...if I am not too hung...

Oooo that smell....can't you smell that smell.....

I have one of those velcro watch bands. And it has been kinda hot and sticky here the last few weeks. So, it started to stink. And my wrist started to stink. So today, I wore a watch that didn't work, because I didn't want to be looking at a blank wrist all day. This idea failed, because the time was never right, so I had to look at a clock anyways.

This sort of thing has happened to me before while I was in college. I was sitting in a large auditorium. I was tired, as usual, and started to lean my head on my hand. This foul smell kept wafting into my nose. I couldn't figure it out. This went on for a few minutes, before I noticed it was my wrist. It was like rotten, stinky-ass shoes. Like when they get wet from a pond or river, and then when they dry out they reek.



This band hasn't quite gotten to the ass-shoe level, so for tomorrow I figured, "What the smell, I'll just wear the stinky watch.".

Why do june bugs arrive in May?

Technically a beetle, not a bug, and technically arriving in May not June! My cats love em'. They have been chasing and attacking them on the screens for days now. They creep my wife out.

Dashboard?

Well, for those of you using Blogger, what do you think of the new look? I think it looks pretty cool. I wish I had thought of the new style and color first!

My only question is, what the hell does dashboard stand for? Is it because we are on the "web highway"? Maybe if I had read the little explaination I would have found out. Oh well.

The only thing I used to want to see on a dashboard were foot prints, panties, or condom wrappers. Now that I am all grown up, all I see is dust. Ah, such is married life.

I have noticed that most of my visitors come during the week, with fewer on the weekends. That makes me wonder how many people blog at work. So, lets take a short poll. Are you blogging at work write now?

Hello darkness my old friend.....

Damn that song! Some students are doing unit on the 60's. They have a packet of songs, quotes, and other trivia from that era. This was one of the few I can't remember. What is the line that follows? Hello darkness my old friend, _____________________. Can anyone help me out? How bout the singer/group.

Here's another one that is bugging me. Mrs. Brown youv'e got a lovely daughter....

Not only can I not remember the next line or artist, they are stuck in my head! They go back and forth, back and forth.....

I don't drink milk......

Drink a lot of beer though!

Apple Pie...

Take one bottle of Everclear, one jug-o-cider, 2 cups sugar, and a couple cinimon sticks. Remove an amount of cider equal to the amount of Everclear and the sugar. Replace it with the Everclear and sugar, and the cinimon sticks. Cap it off, and let it sit for a week or 2 or 3. Usually the longer the better.

It is enjoyed best when "Tennessee Side Sipp'in". Redneck style.

My buddy B over at Turf's Eye View, is the proprietor of the juice. He will be bringing it to a weeding we are attending in a few weeks. There isn't many things that are more fun than seeing a bunch of people at a wedding trying to Side Sip the apple flavored gasoline. Try it out for yourself!

Overpaid Teachers?!

What world do people who say that live in? Here's a good article that discusses this topic.

Teacher Pay

Who makes the doctors, lawyers, and damn near every other type of job? This includes the sports stars! Most of your coaches are teachers. Where would the star athletes be without the time and coaching of our teachers?

I'm bored....

I noticed something disturbing at my PT job yesterday. I work at a nursery and garden center on weekends and summers. We sell all kinds of pants and garden stuff.

While dead-heading some roses I noticed the name of one of the yellow climbing roses: Golden Shower. Either the guy that named this one is demented and funny, or he's clueless. Maybe the rose was named before the porn industry got a hold of it. Either way, I wondered if anyone else had noticed this, or if I was the only pornverted dork who got a kick out of it.