Library Nazi's

Did you know that without a library card you cannot check out books from the library. I don't mean you never had one, or that you aren't registered for one, I mean you just forgot it. Even with a drivers license! They still won't let you!

I can use my drivers license to identify myself to go into a bar. I can use it to identify myself when I am arrested. I can even use it to identify myself at an R movie if needed.

Who would fake an ID just to check out books?


I had to pay a buck to get another card. Not a big deal, at least it is a good cause.

Good Link

Here is some slightly biased Political Info.


Do with it what you want. I found it informative and to the point.

Let me get this straight...

One week until the election. This is all I have figured out so far....

- Kerry likes to flop
- Bush is incompetent
- Nader doesn't count (but should)
- Green Party...who's that?
- Where is Perot when we need him
- Will Giuliani run in 08'?
- Will we ever see a Swartzenager v. Ventura or better yet a Arnold "the Terminator" Swartzenager/Jesse "The Body" Ventura ticket?

AAAaAaahahahahhahahahhaha.....................................let's just get it over with.

NRG Drink......

This morning I was running late to school(work). So I decided to choose a energy drink instead of my morning coffee or Mt. Dew. I only had two choices infront of me. Rock Star (which I am not) and Lost (which I usually am). There was no Monster (Goose's Favorite), and I am definately no monster.

It was your basic energy drink. No real definate taste difference from any other. It was actually developed by Monster. I felt that although I have done some rock star like things in my previous life, sorry no details (what happens at Yuma Circle, stay's at Yuma Circle), that lost was a better decriptive word.

It does work, I do feel energized!

A couple of jokes for ya....

(See comment section for punchlines)

What did the elephant say to the naked man?




A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his fly. The bartender asks, "Sir, did you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?"

Link

Here is the link I eleuded to in a previous post. You can thank Vic for the linkage.

Thanks VIC! Candidates in Drag

Strange things I've done this week....

* Taped alluminum foil triangles to my windows at school to keep the birds from running into them. They do this adoring thing where they eat a ton of crab apples. This intoxicates them to to the point of wastedness (the apples ferment on the tree). This makes it difficult to fly, just ask the pilots at American. They then careen into my windows......BAM! They even leave some feathers. Imagine waking in the morning after a good drunk and finding a bald spot on the top of your head from running into something hard enough to knock you silly.

* My kids asked me what the foil was for, I told them it was to keep the aliens from reading my mind.

* Broke down and bought floor mats for my truck. The thin clear plastic that was "glued" to the floor just isn't makeing the grade. I could no longer be a cheap-ass.

* I hung the pictures of the 'candidates in drag' on my door at school(I have yet to find these online - otherwise I would give a link, they were sent to me). This has brought a little bit of notority to my entry way. Some of the really "bright" students don't even know who they are at first. Who's that? The (un)informed youth.

* I brought my lemon tree to school. What's that? A lemon tree. No it's not, they're green. They're not ripe. Do they start out as limes and turn into lemons? Yeah, and then when they get really big, their grapefruit.

* I drilled an 8th grader in the chest with a volleyball during warm-ups. It was an accident...honest. This got me laughing, and then while hitting to another student, I was wide and almost hit the same girl for the second time. I laughed harder.

* Annoyed my wife.... a little more than usual. Probably because of my usual fall funk.

* I tormented my cats with a laser pointer I took away from a student. I ran one in the tightest circle she could run in. It was mean......but fun. It's compulsive for them, they can't turn off that 'jungle cat' hunting mode in them. Evolution is so cool. I gave them some "Fresh" catnip last week. I even took out the stems and seeds, it was pure leaves and buds. They were literally drooling on it as they rolled in it.

We'll thats it for now. Hope you enjoyed my week. See you Monday.

Fall Depression

I am starting my fall depression mode. I usually have a short depression mode once during fall and once in spring. Not that my life or anything within it is in need of improvement, at least not that much. I just usually have a down time when I am kind of like.....eh...uh.....oh.......errrrr

It would explain most of my last post(blog psychology!?).

So, I am going to do something about it this year. Something pro-active. Actually two things....

The first is to stay busy...or should I say get busy, and stay busy. None of this down time TV watchin mope session.

Secondly, (hand-in-hand w/ the first) I am going to get into shape (shut your mouth Turf! I know you just said ...er thought "Yeah right!") I am serious, and to prove that I am serious, and to make my self accountable, I have started a new blog that will chronicle my new goal.

Fat acCOUNTability

Soooo, if you would like to see if I succeed or fail, stop by there to show your curiosity or just laugh at my sadness. It is just in it's infantile stage, so bear with me. When it works, I will write a book about it and become rich and famous.

A few things I learned this weekend....

5. You are only as old as you feel, and I feel pretty old. My lack of practice in alcohol imbibery is evident, and my 30 year old body has caught up. At my wifes 5 year reunion I tried to hang with the young bucks. Although my stamina was there the first night, I paid for it the next night. Getting older sucks. Maybe if I took better care of myself I would feel better about myself.

4. Going to your wifes 5 year after you have had your 10 year is an eye-opener as to how old you really are getting in comparison to her. A buddy of mine pointed out the fact that I was the oldest guy there. Thanks Hoon.

3. There's no place like home, there's no place like home. Man if feels good to come home to your own house.

2. I need a hobby. My parents cleared about $400 this weekend selling their artwork. It's technically crafts, but they are too good at it, so I call it art.

1. Although I don't like to work. I am glad that it provides some stability and routine to my life. It's also nice to be appreciated. I think I would waste away if I was doing nothing in my life.

School Lunch.....

How come no matter what school cafeteria you go to, the food tastes exactly the same. I ate at my new schools caf for the first time the other day. It was pizza burger day. That means tater-tots and some sort of fruit and if we're lucky some other veggie. I don't know if you can call it "good" food. It wasn't bad by any means.

Do you think there is some training facility that all of these women cooks go to?
Maybe they have been programed to cook a certain way by the US government?
Maybe they are all aliens and they are trying to subdue us by attacking the humans weak spot, our stomachs?
Maybe all of the cooks are related in some way and have been brought up to cook like their mother, who was taught to cook by their mother and so on and so on.....
Maybe the ingredients are always the same, and they just combine them differently to make each meal. (chicken patties, chicken nuggets, breaded chicken patties, chicken fried steak, chicken soup, chicken tetrazzini, etc.)
Maybe we are not really tasting anything at all, maybe we just think we are because we are all part of The Matrix?

If you think about it, the trays are the same the hairnets are the same, the outfits are the same, the plastic gloves are the same, the equipment is the same (stove, dish washer, etc.). It's like a gang or tribe of some sort.Hmmmmmmmmm......

Aaahhhhhhhhhhh!

Nothing to write.

Bloggers block.
Bloggers block.
Bloggos Block
Boggers Bock
Cloggers Cluck.
Coggers Cock
Foggers Fock.
Floggers Fluck.
Floskhsiouyekljhsodfowiejfoiwjef





What the hell is a Flogger?

Ryan the Stimpy.....

An old friend of mine has started a blog without notifying me. I believe he may be a bit shy about his blogging. He will be a great blogger! He has a sharp wit, and a good look on life. Make sure you go check him out and give him some props.

Llama Herding 101