Guest Titled Post

"How is it possible that so many dishes accumulate in my kitchen sink so fast after I do them?


Goose, there are several things at work here. You must ask yourself a few questions before we discover the answer.

Do you have a dishwasher now? If so what is their name? They are obviously slacking, and need to pick up the pace. You should find this person and have them fired, so you can hire that Mexican maid chick you were talking about.

Is it possible you have too many dishes? If so, this is a simple one, give some of those dishes to goodwill, or some other agency that sells shit like that. Then, hire that cute little Mexican maid you were talking about.

Is it possible there are too many people living in that cabin? If so, maybe it's time for one of them to leave. Maddy is about 14 right? Easily old enough to live on her own. She plays that Sims game, she knows about life. Hell, she's even been to a Henry Rollins concert. I am sure, she and her boyfriend would be happy to start their life together. You could get two birds with one stone here, give Maddy some of your extra dishes! Then, you should hire that little Mexican gal to help out.

There it is.......problem solved.........hope this helped Goose!

Bad Biology Jokes.......

I got to tell two of my favorite bio jokes this week. Hope you all enjoy my dorkdom.

The first one needs a little set up. We have been talking about mitosis (cell division). There is a phase of the cell cycle called Interphase that "prepares" the cell for division. Mitosis is the process of cell division.

So here's the joke:
"I like to call interphase, toe-jam, because it happens between mitosis's."

Now just let it sit for a minute...............

toe jam.......between my-toe-sis-is...................


Ok, this next one is better.
The kids were talking about the stunting of growth and how they heard Mt. Dew stunts your growth.....then they said something about coffee. Now if you know me, you know that I am a towering 5' 4".......and I drink coffee.

So I said, "Coffee doesn't stunt your growth, I've been drinking it since I was 6."



Wow......those are terrible. It's all part of my teaching charm.

TV Addiction

I just read a great article from Scientific American magazine. Actually, it is a special addition about the brain. A very facinating article that discusses TV viewing and it's evolutionary roots.

Humans have a "orienting response" that is an inherant trait passed on from our ancestors. More or less, this response causes us to stop our actions, and concentrate on a moving object. In ancient times, it was a safety response that caused us to observe movement in our surroundings (think: predator or danger). Now, the stimulus is the television. The camera movements and changing of scenes initiates the same response. Many producers/directors know this, and use tricks to capture our attentions. This is one reason why we may watch a program or movie, even if we are not interested in it, it has "caught" our orienting response.

When it occurs, our brains are working on gathering data, and our bodies relax in preparation for the proper reaction. Which in this case is nothing, except maybe loafing.

They go on to note that "...viewing may contribute to a shorter attention span, diminished self-restraint and less patience w/ the normal delays of daily life."

They actually compare TV viewing w/ substance abuse. It is very convincing, and dissapointing to think about.

Quick brain teaser for you.

Test your IQ with the question below:

There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's
teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.


Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?


The answer is in the comments section of this post.

'Herd-o-Gerbils'

This is not the "guest titled post". I am still waiting for a few more entries. Although, I may pick more than one and spread them out a bit.

This is my second day of "snow days". Being away from work isn't exactly helping my melancholy mood. This just means two more days at the end of the year. Four-day 'weekends' are nice but, not when you cannot plan for them and be somewhere besides being stranded in your house.

I did make it to school today. Actually, that is where I am at right now. I had to feed my livestock (plants, fish, and my herd of gerbils). Don't laugh Turf-boy. That's right, I said herd-o-gerbils. And no, they are not for rent. I am selling them all to Richard Gere. j/k

You all would be amazed at the reactions of my students when the gerbils are 'doing-the-dirty'. "Oh my gosh! What are they doing?! Are they wrestling?!" The problem is, daddy gerbil only gets action on the day mommy has her....uh...their litter. So, they do it several times because they know it will be a long 21-25 days before they can "wrestle" again. The kids are both shocked, and amazed by this fact. it doesn't matter whether they are 12 or 18....or 29 I guess. It facinates the teacher too.

Other adults (women), find this behavior appaling. They say "poor little momma, always pregnant." But if they saw the way she swings that rump around when Daddy's 'in town', they may think different. It is just basic animal behavior.

Blog blog blog

Brother goose brings up a good point. "Am I ever going to blog?" The answer goose my friend is yes. It seems I have hit my mid-season depression. Not as much a depression as it is a funk. That sounds better, mid-season funk. It happens every year, once in the fall and once in the winter. It even includes too much sleep and aloofness.

I don' t know if it is the 17 weeks of school remaining or the fact that I am waiting to hear about a TA position for grad school. The 6-8 inches of snow doesn't help much either.

It is now 11:27 in the PM. I am anticipating a late start tomorrow, if not a cancellation. I still have to go feed the critters tomorrow, even if school is canceled.

So, I leave it up to my loyal, and not so loyal, viewers to help me with my next posting. I need a title. Give me a title, about anything, and I will write a corresponding post. Leave no subject untapped. I look forward to picking the most obscure thing you can come up with.


ps..As you can see, my picture posting problem remains. I don't know how you do it Goose. It's like you're in a posting void. My addresses change almost instantly from when I use them.

1....2....3...4........

I have changed my counter to represent the number of unique visitors to my site as opposed to actual number of hits. I neglected to remove myself from the previous counter, so it was slightly inflated with my visits anyways. I don't know if I will like this way or not. We'll see.

I am still working on the picture situation. Hopefully I will have it remedied by this weekend. I plan on doing so programming work on Saturday and/or Sunday. I may be moving the blog to another site.

Be patient and stay tuned for further details.

'Cowboy Cloners'

The UK is now calling for a ban to be put onto so-called maverick scientists attempting to clone humans. This comes from an article from Reuters.

Lord May of Oxford, the president of Britain's Royal Society, an academy of scientists, criticize researchers who attempt to clone humans, saying it is medically unsafe, scientifically unsound and socially unacceptable.

Based on attempts to clone primates, which have proven difficult, he questioned the feasibility of cloning humans.

May added: "the advocates of the reproductive cloning of people seem more motivated by the publicity of carrying out such experiments, in the face of overwhelming scientific and medical opinion, than by a genuine regard for the plight of the human guinea pigs that would take part."

Not knowing Lord Mays' background, it is tough to determine how much he knows and how much is speculation based upon what he thinks he knows. No one has actually determined if Dr. Zavos has credible information (data) to back-up his claim of a human clone. This could possibly "go-away" if Dr. Zavos simply produces his supporting data and results. It could also create a lot of trouble for him if said data and results are not correct or promising.

They go on to say:
"We must find a way of realizing the many potential benefits that our increasing knowledge brings -- while also dealing with the many social, cultural and ethical issues that often accompany them. And we need to recognize the distinction between a technology and its potential applications, either good or bad," May added.

I totally agree with this, but who is going to determine these pros/cons versus the many social, ethical, and cultural differences in the world? Some countries may allow it, for their own notority. Others may be too control crazy, and stiffle the scientific process. It is going to come down to a half dozen countries and their "nominations" (Japan, China, Europe, Soviet Union, USA, and Australia most likely). Once again, things come down to a commitee and possibly people lobbying to continue their research.

Human Clones!

Dr. Zavos (sounds like a character from a science fiction book), claims he has implanted the 1st human cloned egg into a carrier (that's a female to those non-science folk). No one belives him, er.....most don't believe him. All the other scientists (like there are just a few who all hang out together.....) want proof. I agree, scientific proof is needed, but what does this guy need to lie for? He is not part of that wacko made up religion that believes they are from another planet. They made these claims last year to bring them some notoriety. Dr. Zavos is simply a doctor doing what he said he was going to do, and that is to make human cloning possible. Think about it, if he is lieing, who is going to believe him if he actually can clone humans sometime in the future? His credability would be shot. So, we will wait and see if it is really a clone. I am excited. Although I was excited last year when the wacko group declared it also.

When the whole cloning of a human thing originated, and stem cells were essentially banned for uses of studying human cloning, they said Dr. Zavos may be the first to actually do it. I don't even know where his lab is, he had to move it to somewhere that he could continue his studies (probably on some deserted island......even more science fiction sounding).

Maybe the headlines could have said:
The Evil Dr. Zavos, slaving away in his macabre science lab on some deserted island, discovers human cloning!!!!Muhahahahahahahahhahaaa. Sorry, I couldn't hold it back.

Bloggies

Well, I completed half of my "assignment". That means I looked at approximatley 100 sites. I saw lots of good ones and lots of bad ones. It seems that many people put in just any ol' site. Some didn't even fit the catagory.

Another thing that surprised me was that none of the blogs that I read were mentioned. Of course, I did not get any of the catagories that I nominated sites for. But, I did think that I would see one or two sites that I frequent.

I wonder just how many blog sites there are in existance? Even eliminating the sites that are not updated leaves more than I can imagine.

So, if you have your own site, and you frequent this one, let me know about it. My counter has been increasing, and my first time visitors is up, but I don't know who you are. Leave a comment, and I will visit your site!

Time for a new blog of the week......

This week's blog of the week is a community blog, Wetwired. Dont make the mistake I did and link to Wetwired.com. That site is some ACT site.

Wetwired has some great animation pics and is written by several authors, not just one.

So, if you have some time, check them out!

Thought for the day.....

I accidentally stepped into a "job" that I didn't have all the facts on. Now, I am judging (selecting) blogs for the Bloggies. I was thinking I would have a catagory or two to peruse through to select from. Instead I get a list of 10 catagories to look through and pick 5 of the 20 or so enteries per catagory. Let's see... 20 * 10 = 200......200!!!! Needless to say, I do not have the time to look at 200 blogs by Saturday. So, I thought about farming out some work, but decided that might not be right. Since I know there won't be any kind of consequences for not completly fulfilling my duties, I will get to, what I get to.

I have learned 3 things from this so far:
1. Do not vollunteer for a 'job' that you don't know the duties for
2. My blog is pretty ordinary, what I mean is my blog is just like many of the others I have looked at so far (I am going to be doing some 'soul searching' to change things up a bit)
3. The looking has also given me some good ideas for future posts

unDirecTV

We just had our dish switched from the 'round' dish to the 'oval' dish. Apparently in the near future, the round dish will no longer be able to do what it currenly is, picking up local channels to be specific. I don't totally understand this, but I guess I don't exactly need to either. It's probably some scam.

2 days after the dude came and switched them (he left the old one just lying there next to the house?), neither of our recievers would turn on. Weird huh?

Well, my wife called the service to find out how to fix the problem. They gave her some bullshit about how it is in no way related to 'the switch' and that to get it fixed it would cost $70 for a one time deal or $35 dollars now and $6 a month for a year for coverage. This bent us alittle out of shape.

So, I called after I got out of school. I explained the problem again. This time the lady, (a different one than the 1st time) told me to simply unplug them for a minute or so, then plug them back in and turn them on. She explained that it could be electrical, and if it didn't work, try another plug. I asked about 'the switch' and she said it could be that, but she wanted to eliminate other options 1st.

This worked just like she said it would. Now my question to all of you is, "Do you think they treated me differently than my wife because she is a woman?" (possibly they thought she couldn't handle unplugging the recievers? But since I am a man I am more "handy") or "Do you think the 1st chic didn't know what she was talking about?"

Pictures.....

As you can see.....or not see. I am having some trouble with my pictures. I will work on that in the next few days. I am trying to use my Yahoo! Briefcase to store them. Apparently I am still doing something wrong. I think I have the code right, it is the source of the pictures that I think is the problem.

Any pointers out there? Is there an easier way to do things?

My other job.........

I work part time at a Nursery and Garden center to suplement my income....teachers don't make squat. This is a pretty easy job for me considering I used to work for the same coupany as a Associate manager.

I have this doofus who is technically "above me" only because he is full time and I am PT. So, we have this guy come in who has come in before and we have gotten some fish from him in the past. He always smokes in the store....chain smoking. Then he throws his butts on the floor. What an ass-hole.

So this time I ask him to smoke outside. I did this very politly and he ended up being a prick. So I told this to the doofus, thinking he would back me up. Turns out that he lets the guy smoke after the guy 'harrassed' him about it. The ass-hole asked the doofus if there was a sign posted. I said there doesn't need to be a sign posted. I told him I asked you politly and you couldn't step outside for 10 minutes to smoke. He said I should go in the back room if the smoke was bothering me.

So I punched out and left. If the doofus couldn't support me I wasn't going to be a part of it. Stupid pricks.

kids

I had a student that just couldn't stay seated in class today. I can relate, I too have a tough time staying in one spot for long periods of time. But, I also know that in some cases I need to stay put.

So, after warning him on previous days, I told him one last time. "Have a seat" I said. He then told me that he "thinks better on his feet." I asked him if it "took the pressure off his brain?" He said "yes". I don't think he actually understood what I was asking.

At least I got a kick out of it.

I hate to follow trends but this was too fun..........

I stole this from Gooseneck...who stole it from Big Stupid Tommy Try your luck! See how well you know Robby! Take the "How well do you know Robby quiz!"

The person with the highest score gets a can of my favorite beer!

iiiiittttttt'ssssssss fra-fra-freezing outside......

Does anyone else remember being a kid and going outside when it was cold out. I don't seem to remember the cold ever really bothering me. It certianly does now. But when I think back, I remember going outside no matter how cold it was and not having it affect me. After a while I remember being wet and cold sometimes. Like when your boots or gloves become soaked.

As a teenager I remember being out late, running around, causing mischief in the cold winter. Once again, it didn't seem to bother me too much.

How come the cold bothers me now?

Today's youth in the workforce.......

This is sad. Especially because I am a teacher.

I was ordering pizza last night and asked about the special. The gal on the other end of the phone explained to me that for only $9.99, I could get a single topping large pizza, and order of bread sticks and a 2 liter of pop. Actually one hell of a deal. So I told her I would like a large, half black olive (wife is vegetarian) and half Canadian bacon. "Ok" she says, "I don't know if that counts for the special, let me go check."

I guess I threw her off with the half and half crap, but really. Do I have more than one topping covering the entire pizza? No. If she needs it broken down, I actually had two single topping half larges. Now put those two together and you get a large, single topping pizza.

Of course after she "checks" it was "OK". Luckily I didn't try and confuse her by trying to add change after she had it rang into the register. That always screws them up.

For instance, if I gave the cashier $20 and it was $18.25, then I realize I have a quarter in my pocket. So after she has entered and cashed the 20, I give her the quarter. I am simply wanting $2 back instead of $1.75. This is too difficult of math for the cashier most of the time. So they usually tell you, "Uh....I can't do that , I already had it rang in." Usually at these moments I bite my lip and roll my eyes. Teenagers minds are so 'one track' these days. They can't think for themselves. We have created a society of convenience. Too much convenience. Maybe it is only too much in the hands of those that cannot handle the "power" of convenience.

I learned something new today.

The flu is just the regular old flu. Achey, maybe pukey or diarrhea.

Influenza is the flu that is respiratory. Or at least that is what the hospital told my wife.

Either way, it sucks.

New Year's Resolutions

How many people do you think will be posting resolutions on their blogs? 100's? 1000's? Unfortunately I am one of those 1000's.

I make them every year, even when I say I didn't. It's always in the back of your mind. It's sort of like a conscious. Everyone wants to better themselves in one way or another. I don't think I know anyone who is 100% happy with who they are.

So here goes: My New Year's resolutions

#1 - I promise not to fart in public anymore. Only when people are not around. I am tired of making lies and playing dumb when my wife figures it out.

#2 - No more mixed drinks when I go out to the bar. Only beer. I must also limit my shots to 2 a night. The hangovers and embarrassing stories are no longer worth the fun I have.

#3 - I will begin using my turn signals every time I turn. There is nothing I hate worse than people who don't use their signals.

I guess that's it. If you can think of any others that I should be working on, let me know.