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Monday, February 21, 2005

Dew Addiciton.....

I am giving up pop. Next week track season officially begins and I told my girls that they cannot drink pop. If I catch them, the team runs killers,. I told them that if they give up pop I will give up pop. This is much easier said than done. I love Mt. Dew. I think I am addicted to the caffine. Which is OK becasue I can drink coffee. But I am affraid it's more than just the caffine. Today it was hard to push the Diet Pepsi Button (the Dew was sold out).

Wish me luck.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Superfadedness Management Rule #72

Girl Beers. I know, we all hate them. Those unfinished beers that are left around the room. The sit their all stealthly like until the next morning when you are cleaning up. Then it just burns you inside when you think of the lost nectur inside them as you pour them into the sink.

Rule #72 Was created just for this situation. It was based on an experiment that was conducted in spring 1994. After being left with a room nearly filled with girl beers we decided we must do something. So, we decied to divide and conquer. Each SFM student was given a section of the room to empty. This lead to Rule #72.

Rule #72:
You must not let girl beers go to waste. If it is a relative or girlfriend it becomes easy. It is the "stranger" beers that are troublesome. Here is the key, it is a 4 step process rolled into one fluid motion. Look, swivel (for sense of touch and the next step, listening), listen, and smell. Look for any foreign matter within the beer, swivel-swish your can/bottle around - listen for anything bumping around in your can and feel for anything bumping into the side of the can, lastly and most importantly, smell. Smelling is very important because you are smelling for cig's or worse yet, chewing tobacco.

There you have it. Rule#72 - Girls Beers and how to deal with them.

As Turf always says; Learn it, know it, live it.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Tig-O-Bitties..

I wonder what it would be like to have boobs. Not like man-boobs (A's or even B's) I mean like big ol' knockers (C's or D's...or DD's!)

I can't imagine it would be too comfortable. No bra seems too supportive. They have to bounce around a little bit. Actually they seem to bounce quite a lot.

I think if my boobs were big enough to bounce it would be distracting to me.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Discrimination

Once again the smart kids are getting the shaft. Besides science I also teach the Talented and Gifted kids. I asked to get some computers into my classroom, and I got 2 outdated pentium 2 gateway POS's. The kids that attend the Resource room (aka the Doobie room) get to have brand new flatscreen gateways. I am sure they are pent 4's. One of my keyboards is a IBM model from the 20th century!! They take 15minutes to warm up and they hum like a 747 at takeoff!


Think about what my TAG students could do with those new machines!!! As opposed to the POS's in my room.


At least they are not Commador 64's or Apple II e's - w/ the green screens!

Can bacteria go bad?

I am a biology teacher and I should know this, but....I don't.

If you let yogurt go past the "freashness date" what happens? AFterall, it's just a little cup of bacteria and fruit. Will the bacteria spoil? Spoiled bacteria? That doesn't even sound possible.

Imagine if you will, someone eating a outdated cup of yogurt and exclaiming, "Oooo yuck, this lactobacilli tastes spoiled!"


Besides, what makes a bacteria good? Maybe it's the fact that you can eat them.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Revenge of the Nerd......

I saw this and had to give it a try. It was stumbled upon while skipping thru blogs via the "Next" button @ the top.


I am nerdier than 80% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!


I predicted plainly nerdy.....but was pleasantly surprised with a Highly nerdy!

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Superfadedness Management Rule #28

Invest in your commitment to excellence. Proper institution attire should be purchased when you really get serious. Especially if you are like me and live in an area of extreme cold during winter. As you wisen up, and stop driving to the establishments, you will need to be warm and dry as you hike through the elements.

My suggestion is to purchase a used warm coat, some $.99 brown Derby gloves, an old hat, and some waterproof (or @ least water resistant) shoes or boots. Style is not necessarily the key here, function is the word.

* The coat needs to be used so that if you happen to misplace it, or if someone spills booze on it, you can always scrap it for another. Goodwill or the Salvation Army should outfit you just fine in this area.

* I prefer the brown derby gloves because they are only 99cents. Once again, if lost, you are not out much dough. Plus they fold up real nice.

* Any old hat or winter headband (picture a real sally) will do. Beanie winter caps work well and fold nicely as well. You may want to bring a ball cap to swap into once you reach your destination. (switching back from function to style)

* Shoes....very important. If you are spending any real amount of time in a drinking facility, someone is bound to spill on you (it might even be you, spilling on you). That's why it is very important to equip yourself with some sort of water resistance or proofing. Also, when walking to and from the bar, it is nice to keep your feet dry, especially if you screw-up SFM Rule #67.

As always, drink responsibly...follow these rules.